Today I have the day off. I enjoy days off. They are theoretically days in which one does not work. This morning when sitting on you I was moved to tears by the joy and gratitude I felt at said day off. You lulled me into a false sense of relaxation of which I am now feel deeply resentful. I am mad at you chair. This is not so much a day off but a day of different working.
Tonight begins Passover. I need to cook. This requires shopping. This requires cleaning. This does not allow for lounging. Why must you be so comfortable?! Damn you chair. Damn you. I also had two meetings today. Because I began the morning in your warm, distracting embrace I was late for one meeting and I’ve had to cancel another. I only sat in your arms for 30 minutes and yet it ruined my day. You are bad for me chair. We must end this. NO! I do not blame this on exhaustion or poor time management – I. blame. you.
We are done chair. For ever. Well, for the weekend. For the day. Oh look – lunch! I can’t quit you. I’m so ashamed.