It’s Thursday and I’m just getting around to writing you. I am tired. Quite honestly, enough is enough already. Sometimes you have to hear the hard truth in order to move toward real and positive change. You suck. This is hard to hear I know but I cannot let this mad grab for power continue any longer. You have abused the people of the universe long e-freaking-nough. This must end. And when did you start lasting beyond your allotted 24 hours? An entire week of you is simply more than I can handle. There are short, loud people around me all the time asking me for things. They look at me and request food – several times a day – multiple times per week. They want to “spend time” with me and they need me to show them how to do things – ridiculous. Others require that I bathe myself and get dressed and be able to hold down a conversation, keep “important” information in my brain and accomplish tasks and goals – also several times a day – multiple times per week – absurd. I know, Monday, that this is your fault and I want it to stop. Please tell Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday they are also on alert and they had better get their shit together. Friday is mostly ok. The other two are my favorites – try to be more like them why don’t you?
Signed on behalf of all mankind.