*NOTE all the actual Daves I know are awesome.
This morning I saw this picture and shared it on Facebook followed by this status:
“Be supportive of each other’s dreams today and everyday.
Even if you think they’re crazy.
I’ve heard so many people say they once expressed a desire to be or do a thing and their parents or teachers shut them down telling them they had no talent.
Practically everything I’ve ever done someone thought I was nuts; but If you have a vision for your life don’t let anyone discourage you. Everything is possible.”
Of course this photo is hilarious but it’s also really, really important. We all have a “Dave” in our lives. For most of us though it’s really ourselves reflecting things we may have heard or the values of the people who are important to us when we feel less resolute, tired, overwhelmed or scared to take the next step in becoming our greatest selves. At this particular moment I am sitting in my bed it’s 9:30 and I’m desperately trying to write this thing I’ve been trying to write all day – while my sons are trying even more diligently not to go to sleep and my computer is trying to shutdown on me while the voices echo in my head of all the people who say to me on a regular basis that I shouldn’t do so much or that I’m over taxed or that I should slow down, take a nap, take a vacation.
(by the way while I was writing the above sentence one kid came in to show me a completed art project, another got in bed with me, and the last microwaved french toast left over from dinner.)
It would be easy for me to throw my hands up and say forget it. What’s the point of continuing trying to build this thing that is so important to me? I am tired. It’s too hard. I have too many other responsibilities. There are past versions of myself that gave up, listened to the naysayers, made excuses, allowed myself to be defeated. I beat myself up for a long, long, long time over those choices. Which I now realize was a giant waste of time because everything that was happening was bringing me to this place so that I could say these things, and perform the weird, funny, tear-jerking show that is attached to this blog, to write the book that I’ve almost completed, to be the me that I was supposed to be all along but couldn’t see, and youth, plus self-doubt, plus those pesky “Daves” made me hate myself. But don’t worry because I found a way out of that place. It was a long hard slog but I’ve done the work and now it’s time to do more work, different work.
So here I am – working full-time, raising three children, trying not to fail as a wife, and trying to build an art thing that doesn’t really exist anywhere else. All of these things are hard on their own – together they are nearly impossible. I’m not able to be perfect at them all ever; or even adequate some days. That’s the other thing I had to learn – I am a corgie and one day I will be a ballerina but I’m going to have to take my time and do what I can everyday a little at a time. I will get there slowly but surely if I don’t let the “Daves” get the better of me.
As much as I would like to see us all be”Henrys” with big, crazy dreams and have the support of the people whose opinions matter most to us (best of all ourselves) – that may be the craziest dream of all. But this I can promise you – when we are able to escape the “Daves” and go for our dreams no matter the obstacles – it is never too late. Everything is possible.
Good night and much love to all you big, beautiful “Henrys” out there. Give your “Daves” a hug and tell them it’s all going to be ok they don’t have to worry about you anymore.