There are those moments when I feel in complete relationship with God. I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately. Those perfect, exciting conversations that I have with my husband dreaming and scheming about our next adventure – when we are enthusiastic, hopeful, motivated and really supporting each other; smelling the tops of my children’s heads while we snuggle on our big pink chair and read or talk or watch a movie; being totally alone in a kayak on a calm River; writing a beautiful sentence; the magnificent spark when an idea or intention has been shared and is received as intended – when people get each other; being on stage and feeling those electric moments of perfect connection with the audience; getting lost in a new place – exploring the unknown. These are those moments for me. There are others – they happen more for me as I get older and figure out how to quiet my brain and accept the parts of me that I once tried so hard to change.
There’s a lot of pain in the world – a lot of uncertainty. It’s scary, it’s loud, and it can be very distracting. We receive the message that there’s some magic pill or amount of things that will make us feel whole but really what we are seeking are those moments – of peace, of hope, of excitement, of total connection with others, of creativity, of love. They are different for everyone and that is the magic. I’ve become slightly addicted to their pursuit – those moments of truth and meaning when it makes no difference where you come from or what your life looks like to other people. The only thing that matters is that connection, the smell, the construction of a thing, the complete surrendering to a single moment in your life and being there, still and present enough to know it’s happening.
It’s very hard to find those moments when the noise is too loud, when we allow the pressures to make us forget the pursuit, when the people in our lives do not support or understand – when life creates a hostile environment for the recognition of the moment.
I really try not to tell anyone what to do here – or make prescription for living life the “right way.” The whole point of all this is just to invite you along on my journey of figuring everything out – in my own way – because maybe we are braver, and clearer, and more focused when we do this together.
My Life is not about my stuff, and it’s certainly not about the pursuit of the stuff or the pressures some people might place around what our lives are supposed to look like. I don’t know why – maybe it’s because I’ve never had a lot of stuff or because stuff costs money and I’m cheap or because I’m too lazy to go out and acquire said stuff – who knows. It’s just never meant anything to me.
I just crave the charge that is connected with love, acceptance, meaning and those moments of singular magnificent oneness with every other thing in existence, sharing the elements that make up the universe and the stars – when we feel that connection we feel what is most real and true because we are all connected. Whether we like it or not that is the simple truth. That’s what really makes me excited – and weird in the eyes of some people. Those folks and I usually choose to spend time doing things not together because our moments are really different – I don’t get what I need from them and they think I should be committed – not to the moments but to the mental hospital.
I had to make a couple of self deprecating jokes or you wouldn’t recognize me – but I have a request or challenge for us all. Let’s really go out and commit to the pursuit of those moments and in that the support of and kindness toward ourselves, and our people. We can just give love and try really hard to understand ourselves and each other. I think that’s a huge step in the direction of healing the world.
- Erin xo